My Dilemma
I need cash flow to help people.
At times I have been able to help people while I am poor:
Over the span of 3 years I find myself with more month than money. Rent exceeds income. I borrow money each month to survive. I am told the pool of money I am borrowing from, and using to avoid being homeless, will run out within a year. Soon after a family is facing homelessness in a few days. I loan them money- and am repaid 14 months later (I didn’t expect to ever be repaid). A homeless couple on the city bus: their Bible has been stolen- I give them mine. Never see them again. Middle of that year- a friend is in the waiting room awaiting eye surgery after the preliminary preparations on earlier days- he'd been told there will be no more co-pays- now they tell him he has to have $350 right then or no surgery- "I don't have it!"- I walk up to the counter and tell him and the counter person to go in for the surgery, I'll go get the cash (using some money I’d borrowed). I also gave him another $200 the next day so the process would be finished. Months later- my loan was extended. But I knew there were limits. Shortly after this I spend 6 hours in a borrowed car trying to find a newly homeless lady a place to live. She opts to stay in a tent at 15 degrees instead of the local shelter- too violent and filthy. Never hear from her again. About 4 months later a guy I barely know needs $200 for a medication. Without saying anything I go to my place, dig out $200, return to his vehicle and hand it to him. Another 4 months go by- a neighbor is being evicted. I loan her $. She moves to her car. Later- one night it is going to be -14. I buy her gas. I was totally surprised when months later she repaid me.
Society may call you useless. But- if I could do all this on $790 - $850 a month income and always over $850 a month rent - how much more can you do? (Things are better now due to lower rent. Still no car.)
At times I have not been able to help people because I am poor:
I couldn’t go visit a friend in the hospital or do favors because I can’t afford a car. Mom wanted visits but the trip was too expensive. (That has changed now. I live closer.) People needed rides to church but… You get the picture.
My dilemma: Some people just don't have any money.... so how do I escape the poverty trap by charging for what I have to offer and not exclude people from being able to get what I have produced at the same time?
6-18-23
